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Bidirectional Reference Array Derived
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| I'm changing journals! |
[Jun. 24th, 2005|08:46 pm] |
I have a new journal here: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) bradleysands, and that will be my primary one from now on. I've added everyone on my friends list (excluding my roommate's numerous IPOST... accounts), so add me back!
I'll probably still occasionally post on this one when I'm feeling ridiculous, but it will be rare.
I'm tired of using this stupid name and I lost the temptation to be anonymous on the Internet long ago.
Parting gifts and the evolution of my username:
During my junior year of high school, I was coming back from a Chemlab concert at Coney Island High, riding home on the Long Island Railroad with some friends, when we decided to create our own religion. The New Orthodox Order of Spuds MacKenzie was what came out of that. Take note, I never drank beer until college (and didn't like the taste until last year), so that had nothing to do with it.
The order name that I came up with was Pope Tater Perdu, which was a chicken and potato variation of Aleister Crowley's Frater Perdurabo that my future vegetarian incarnation would frown on. The pope bit is because I was really into Discordianism and The Illuminatus Trilogy at the time.
My friend, Tom, came up with the order greeting:
YIP YOP.
FUCK YEAH!!
RIGHT ON!!!
My friends lost interest the next day. I was pretty gung ho for the next week and wrote our sacred religious text (available upon request!).
Then I forgot all about it the week after, but the name remained in the back of my mind…
until college orientation when I was asked to pick a name for my student email account, immediately!
So I was now the proud owner of tatter@student.umass.edu
I totally didn't do the extra 't' on purpose and I didn't realize the change until five years later, seriously.
So I still pronounced it tater while the correct pronunciation was defined as "to become ragged."
Then I added the two 23's because someone on Hotmail had already taken "tatter" when I signed up for a new email account and, once again, I was obsessed by The Illuminatus Trilogy and The Cosmic Trigger (also by Robert Anton Wilson). No idea why I used it two times.
Then I lived years in fear, afraid to change my name and burning with the knowledge that it was identical to one that someone would use to introduce themselves to me in a goth club when they had absolutely nothing interesting to say besides that name. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2005|10:28 pm] |
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Pet peeve: Those stupid fucks at every place of employment that I've ever worked at who ask me if I'm "having fun" when I'm obviously not having fun. They have no idea how much self discipline it takes for me to allow their heads to remain attached to their bodies. |
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| the "books" questionnaire |
[Jun. 10th, 2005|06:30 pm] |
Because theophile said I had to do it "or else." And then he shook his fist at me menacingly.
1. Total number of books I've owned:
No idea. I’ve owned many, many books over the years. I don’t have that many where I’m living now (maybe fifty). I’ve left the majority of them in NY and there are a bunch that have been lent out to friends and never returned (WHERE'S MY LOVELY BISCUITS? HUH, theophile, HUH?).
2. Last book I bought: Steve Aylett’s Lint
My ridiculous review of it can be found here.
3. Last book I read (Last finished): Kevin Dole 2's Tangerinephant
It's the latest release from Afterbirth Books, who will be publishing my book in the fall. I'm overjoyed that their first two releases have been fantastic reads. I suppose it makes me feel better about my own work. My review is here. Buy it! And buy The Menstruating Mall too!
4. 5 books that mean a lot to me: Errr...this is just off of the top of my head. There are too many.
a. The Illuminatus Trilogy by Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea: This was my favorite book throughout the majority of high school and I've reread it more times than any other. But it was totally ruined for me after I worked as an assistant editor at Weird Tales and learned to be all anal retentive about grammar and rhetoric. Now it reads poorly, like it's a first draft.
b. Slaughtermatic by Steve Aylett: He's my fave and this is the first book that I read by him. It's a satire of the cyber-punk genre.
c. The Nightmare Factory by Thomas Ligotti: This is a collection of the bulk of his first three short story collections. Ligotti is the only horror writer who really thrills me.
d. Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins: A high school favorite. Robbin's prose is gorgeous and absolutely perfect.
e. The Land of Laughs by Jonathan Carroll: This is his first novel and the first one that I read by him. It isn't his best, but he has so many good ones that it was impossible to choose. His books have a strange reaction on me. Whenever I'm depressed, I can pick one up and feel better. His characters feel like old friends and, no matter what terrible ordeals their going through, it always cheers me up to be in their company. I've read all of Carroll's books, and I desperately need another one!
5. Five people to take up the memoid and answer in their own LJ:
theophile MUST DO IT FIVE DIFFERENT TIMES, USING FIVE DIFFERENT PERSONAS. Shakes fist menacingly!!! |
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| jes here |
[Jun. 2nd, 2005|10:40 pm] |
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Brad needs to be my friend !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 :( |
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| Spoken Word Performance (Dark Arts Festival) |
[Jun. 2nd, 2005|10:13 pm] |
Come early on Sunday to check me out! It will be held downstairs.
When:
Sunday Jun 05, 2005
at 6:30 PM
Where:
Area 51
740 S. 300 W.
Salt Lake City, UT 84101
Come listen to Mr. Sands's alchemical verbosity of a most profane and diabolical nature! Pay attention. Every tone and intonation possesses predominant power and may decipher impenetrable mysteries of the unknown. Experience visions of seafood even more terrifying than the platter of Cthulhu's dreams! Those fearless enough to listen do so at their own risk: attaining a level of understanding such as this has been known to leave the initiate bleeding from multiple orifices.
Also stick around for Eric Blair after.
Eric Blair was born in the fall of 1982, though no one is entirely sure why. In a futile attempt to give his life meaning he co-created the local publication CHIAROSCURO. He is also a member of the experimental music trio The Samuel Powers Rhythm 3. He is expected to die of liver failure.
We'll be selling stuff also: Chiaroscuro collected edition (along with free copies of the new issue), Bust Down The Door and Eat All the Chickens issues, and books from Afterbirth Books. |
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| not starving, but yeah.... |
[May. 18th, 2005|05:19 pm] |
Starving Artist
You are 28% Rational, 28% Extroverted, 28% Brutal, and 71% Arrogant.
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You are the Starving Artist! You are more intuitive than logical, and
are primarily guided by your heart and emotions. You are also very
introverted and gentle. Of course, this does not mean that you do not
have an ego. In fact, you are surprisingly arrogant for someone so
emotional and gentle. This is why you are best described as a starving
artist. You are very introspective and quite sure of yourself, as any
accomplished artist is, yet your views are impractical, guided by
feelings, and overly gentle. You probably find math, logic, and similar
intellectual pursuits offensive to your artistic sensibilities, and you
prefer the open-endedness of artistry because then you know you can
never truly have a wrong answer. So really you have no reason to be
arrogant, you big doofus, because the skills you value (emotion,
spirit, art, etc.) in yourself are valuable only on a subjective level,
meaning your arrogance is purely masturbatory. In short, your
personality is defective because you are arrogant, introverted,
introspective, gentle, and thoroughly irrational...posessing most of
the traits needed to be a starving--and useless--artist. So get out
there, write a few short stories that are allegories for the spirit,
and starve!
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| "Family Values" |
[May. 17th, 2005|10:37 am] |
When Confucious was asked what would be the first thing he would do if he were to lead a state, he said "rectify the language"...as societies grow decadent, the language grows decadent. Words are used to disguise, not to illuminate, action; You liberate a city by destroying it. Words are used to confuse, so at election time people will solemny vote against their own interests. Finally, words must be twisted as to justify an empire that has now ceased to exist, much less make sense...
-Lewis Lapham, Harper's Magazine |
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| Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens: A Journal of Absurd and Surreal Fiction |
[May. 2nd, 2005|11:33 pm] |
The new issue – an online micro/flash fiction issue – is now available for download as a free PDF.
Click on cover to go to the website.
Edited by Bradley Sands. Cover art by Justynn Tyme. Back cover art by Keith Wigdor. Featuring work by Gina Ranalli, Jason Rogers, David L Tamarin, A. D. MacDonald, Jayaprakash Satyamurthy, A D Dawson, John Edward Lawson, Steve Aydt, Max Strange, MicroSmith, Scott Raven Tarazevits, Justynn Tyme, Dan Ward, James Gardner, and Jeffrey S. Callico. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 28th, 2005|09:37 pm] |
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My first novel, It Came from Below the Belt (previous titles include !, My Struggle, and Abusing My Interests) will be published by Afterbirth Books in the fall. I just signed and mailed out my contract, so I suppose it's somewhat official. |
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| Help! |
[Apr. 21st, 2005|02:12 am] |
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UFOs are attacking my website! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 8th, 2005|09:39 pm] |
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Thanks to whoever returned the copy of Leviathan 3 that I left on the bus to the library! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2005|06:14 pm] |
I just started a job working in the business office of a cemetery, and occasionally shooting the ones that escape in the head.
I finally know what Babyland means. |
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| New issue of Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens: A Journal of Absurd and Surreal Fiction |
[Mar. 19th, 2005|07:25 pm] |
Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens is a popular vacation spot for stories who have never felt like they fit in, stories that want to take time off from their 9 to 5 work week of searching for the meaning in the universe, stories that take a moment out of their nightly television programming to see what has always been there but doesn’t show itself until someone changes the channel. They thought they were getting a discount on airfare, but they only paid for a one-way ticket. These stories are doomed to spend the rest of their lives between the covers of The Journal of Absurd and Surreal Fiction.
The new issue has been released, including work by John Lawson, Kevin L. Donihe, Pugnacious Jones, Jimmy G, Andrew W. Adams, Bradley Sands, Dustin LaValley, Justin Curfman, Matthew Sideman, and Gina Ranalli. It is available for $5.00 through the website http://www.absurdistjournal.com
We are now accepting submissions for the next issue: an online flash/micro fiction edition. See guidelines for details. |
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